Parents, one day kids will grow up and know who you really are. They will look back and judge the care, affection, provision, and overall mothering and fathering you gave them. What will they see when they open that book?
As kids they have such a pure heart and they adore the ground you walk on. But when they open the book of your life will they remember how you treated your wife/husband? Will they see disrespect and dishonor and look at their life and realize this is why they struggle in relationships?
Will they see chaos and never having a steady place. If you’re in ministry: will they see you always putting “church” above your families wellness and flourishing? Will they see themselves always fighting for connection from parents who were too busy or uninterested to give it? Will they see abandonment?
At this point they will then decide the role and level of access you get in their lives. As they should.
As parents I hate to see other parents with the sense of entitlement that they earned a right through birthing to get all the access and respect and anything beyond measure. They want to be set up on thrones. Now as I parent my own kid(s). I absolutely do not want them to have this mindset.
Life happens to us all. However we are given as stewards over our marriages and families. When we fail to tend to the garden we are given, the legacy we reap is one of loss of connection, surface level connections, estrangement from the family we’ve born. This is a hard pill to swallow but something I say often is “we have now.”
There will never be a perfect parent or spouse but neglect, abuse, isolation, being orphaned(fatherless/motherless) and so many other things kids experience, are not sweep under the rug offenses. Kids should never have to endure that. They should be loved, nurtured, guided and protected. Some adults are so hard because they have had to tend to themselves for way too long and way too early in life. And that is sad. But we all have work to do age aside and entitlement thrown in the trash. Tend to “your” your garden before it’s too late.
Kids will remember and adjust accordingly. So as you raise your kids and you decide “business, hustling, everyone else’s needs, ministry, your extended family and everything else is more important, just remember you have NOW. Now can easily be wasted and when it’s gone, it’s gone. That is it. When you wake up and your connection and legacy is not as you’ve hoped, I hope you’ll take personal responsibility for your hands not to working in your own garden.
Remember you’ve got now. You can’t even think about “next” until you focus on what’s in front of you now.
This is HOME.
As kids they have such a pure heart and they adore the ground you walk on. But when they open the book of your life will they remember how you treated your wife/husband? Will they see disrespect and dishonor and look at their life and realize this is why they struggle in relationships?
Will they see chaos and never having a steady place. If you’re in ministry: will they see you always putting “church” above your families wellness and flourishing? Will they see themselves always fighting for connection from parents who were too busy or uninterested to give it? Will they see abandonment?
At this point they will then decide the role and level of access you get in their lives. As they should.
As parents I hate to see other parents with the sense of entitlement that they earned a right through birthing to get all the access and respect and anything beyond measure. They want to be set up on thrones. Now as I parent my own kid(s). I absolutely do not want them to have this mindset.
Life happens to us all. However we are given as stewards over our marriages and families. When we fail to tend to the garden we are given, the legacy we reap is one of loss of connection, surface level connections, estrangement from the family we’ve born. This is a hard pill to swallow but something I say often is “we have now.”
There will never be a perfect parent or spouse but neglect, abuse, isolation, being orphaned(fatherless/motherless) and so many other things kids experience, are not sweep under the rug offenses. Kids should never have to endure that. They should be loved, nurtured, guided and protected. Some adults are so hard because they have had to tend to themselves for way too long and way too early in life. And that is sad. But we all have work to do age aside and entitlement thrown in the trash. Tend to “your” your garden before it’s too late.
Kids will remember and adjust accordingly. So as you raise your kids and you decide “business, hustling, everyone else’s needs, ministry, your extended family and everything else is more important, just remember you have NOW. Now can easily be wasted and when it’s gone, it’s gone. That is it. When you wake up and your connection and legacy is not as you’ve hoped, I hope you’ll take personal responsibility for your hands not to working in your own garden.
Remember you’ve got now. You can’t even think about “next” until you focus on what’s in front of you now.
This is HOME.